Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows. But it did so, one fine morning, for reasons best known only to the proverbial chicken.
What happened to the chicken after it crossed the road! Believe it or not. He was on the Chinese side of the border!
Our poor little chicken was in no time surrounded by a group of rifle bearing biped viviparous creatures that promptly took him to their custody and informed the external affairs of the Chinese republic about his transgression. The Ministry of China for its part decided to the handle the issue seriously and notified the Indian govt about Chicken who had stealthily invaded into Chinese territory. The Indian foreign affairs with calculated lethargy replied in’ Black and white’ to the Chinese high command that since there was no evidence of the chicken holding an ‘Indian passport’. He definitely could not be Indian. The foreign affairs ministry of India put forth the theory, that such a chicken which crossed the road was truly non-existent and it was a figment of imagination of the Chinese Bureaucrats who wanted to rake up the “ border Issue’ at the drop of a hat!
The diplomatic formalities and the parleys that ensued are not mentioned here (for the author who has no belief in the cosmetic Bureaucratic procedures of both nations has not bothered to document them). A whole month had passed since the chicken actually crossed the road. World over protests were raised by animal lovers Ngo’s so and so..so and so…for the chicken whom they believed was unduly tortured by the two nations ,and that if the nations could find no end to the political rigmarole , it would compound matters and both would have the pay the price for what they called ‘illegitimate retention of an animal outside its natural habitat for monetary or other forms of Gain’.
All the while Indian Govt proclaimed that its Foreign policy was to ‘Wait and watch’,
while the Chinese govt. took special efforts to befriend Pakistan for overt but unsaid reasons.
The Indian intelligence bureau decided finally that the ‘Chicken Issue’ was now undergoing a transmogrification from a ‘usual’ border issue to one of sub continental destabilization. This forced the Govt of India to persuade China into Bilateral Talks on the 13 th of March. China too accepted this invitation in a’ seemingly’ gracious manner!
The stage was set. The forks were in place! The chicken in the middle and all these bipeds around him .The talks started amid International Hype and hyperbole. Our poor chicken who had survived these horrific times of his life in anguish, breathed easy for a while. He really couldn’t make what they were talking about, until of course someone (I think a Indian Interlocutor) mentioned ‘Chicken tikka Masala’. The suggestion was unanimously agreed upon. Even the Chinese delegates thought it was an appetizing idea .
Our little hero took to his heels. And did the most enigmatic thing he’d always done, much to the curiosity of us fellow humans. He crossed the road! And Why?
